In some ways, the end of this project, the end of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and Carter's first birthday feel like the end of a chapter. You know that Brandon and I will never forget Carter, but with each passing day, it gets easier to live with the pain, and I know that after his birthday, life will still continue to move forward...Read More
I wanted to use this prompt to reflect on this project. It was not as easy as I thought it would be. Mostly, there were a lot of days where I didn't want to be sad, days that I didn't want to wallow in my grief and dig deep to feel things I wasn't quite up to feeling that day. I wrote a lot of these posts on the same day, then scheduled them out accordingly. It probably took me...Read More
My previous tribe circle posts have been about the children we've had and the medical staff we love. As we come to the end of the Capture Your Grief project, I want to devote this last tribe circle post to our children that have yet to come to us...Read More
Today, a year from the worst day of my life, I can still tell you that miracles exist. I don't know how I can say that, given what Brandon and I have been through, but I can. I believe it with all my heart. Bad things happen to good people. Maybe the good people don't the miracles they deserve, but I think part of that miracle is that the good people can still believe in things like...Read More
I don't have an indestructible heart.
Over the course of my life, my heart has been hurt many times, and it has taken a lot for me to make it stronger and be okay.
Last year, my heart was shattered. It cannot be repaired.
Maybe a better title for this prompt would be indestructible soul. Or maybe "how I learned to live while operating at a constant 1% of my usual gusto."
I don't have an indestructible heart. I don't even have an indestructible will to live without my babies. But I have an indestructible love for them,
This prompt is the reason we started vlogging. Not because we read this and decided we should do it, but because looking back, there are so many moments we wish we would have captured on camera. We feel like we are at a very pivotal point in our life where things could go so many different ways, and we wanted to start documenting it all a little more than just in...Read More
Brandon and I are so grateful for everything people have done for us since we lost Carter. Kind words, little gifts, pictures of airplanes spotted at random places....they are each enough to keep us going for one more day. Every little thing that people do lets us know that we, and are babies, are not forgotten. That even though our life may outwardly appear to be the same as it...Read More
Another Sunday Tribe Circle post, but this one goes out to a different sort of family we acquired after we lost Carter.
Certain things in life will bond you to people forever, and losing a child is one of those things. We had to switch doctors about halfway through our pregnancy with Carter, and now, I can't...Read More