It's not so secret, but for each child that gets buried near Carter, we do something special. After we see the child's name, we go to the store, pick out a journal specifically for that family, and leave a note explaining who we are. I always leave my email address and phone number, and tell the parents that they are welcome to reach out when/if they feel like doing so. I remember how alone Brandon and I felt in the hospital, and we want these parents to know that they are not alone at all. If they have no other support, no one else that understands, we are willing to be that for them.
The parents know who the journal is from, and I have heard back from a few of them. We generally only speak the one time, but I am still glad that I leave the note, because it allows us to feel bonded together. The loss community is a very strong one, and we have to stick together. Not everyone validates that we are parents, or that our losses are real, but other loss parents do. If all I can do for these parents is write their children's names a few times, and let them know we're thinking about them, then I will do it as best I can.