May 22, 2018
LESS THAN ONE MONTH UNTIL YOU ARE HERE!!! We have four weeks left, which is insane. I can’t believe that we are so close. Last weekend we washed all your clothes and blankets, and I found myself feeling SO excited, which then made me feel so scared. As of right now, everything is good and going well, but we know how quickly that can change. I’m starting to let myself think about the possibility of you coming home, and am starting to make plans for things we will do once you are here. I really am so excited, but also so scared. I won’t know how to get through another loss if something were to happen.
This weekend we are going to redecorate the nursery! I’m less nervous to see it changed than I was before, since we did kind of a trial run a couple weekends ago. It will be kind of weird to see it with different colors and different decorations, but I think your dad and I are both feeling really good about it! We are really looking forward to getting it ready for you!
A few friends threw us a little baby sprinkle on Saturday and you were so spoiled! I had told friends and family that I didn’t want a shower this time around, but it was actually kind of nice to celebrate you. Like I said before, I’m just getting really excited for you to be here. So much so that it’s starting to outweigh the anxiety (which in turn makes me more anxious, if that makes sense).
Onto pregnancy things! I have been super emotional this week. Not moody, just emotional. I ran out of fingernail polish remover on Friday night and started crying. Your dad was super sweet and offered to go to the store for me, but I just felt dumb for crying over something so small. But that’s the norm right now! My dreams have still been crazy, but lately they have been kind of traumatizing haha. I keep having dreams that your dad or other people are so mad at me, and it so sad. Not like they are just a little mad at me, but that they basically hate me. Not fun. Because of that, sleep has been harder to come by lately. It’s hard to fall asleep, I wake up a lot, and then am ready to be done sleeping early in the morning (that doesn’t keep from from continuing to sleep though!).
Tomorrow we have another ultrasound, and we are so excited to see you! It has been a month since the last time we got to take a peek, so we’re excited to see how much you have grown! I’m hoping we can get an estimate of your weight too, I’m just curious! You keep on moving like crazy, and keep growing. We will see you tomorrow. We love you!!
How far along: 33 weeks!!!
Baby is the size of: celery!
Total weight gain: 23 pounds!
Maternity clothes: Definitely, but it has been warm enough that I don’t need pants!
Sleep: Sleep hasn’t been great this week, but that’s okay!
Best moment this week: dad said that one morning has rolled over to cuddle with me while I was still sleeping, and he could feel you moving like crazy. I thought it was sweet for the two of you to have some special father-son time. Also, one night when I was falling asleep, Milo laid with all four paws on my stomach while you moved around. I don’t know if he could feel you, but I like to think that he could.
Movement: A ton of movement. It surprises me every day.
Food cravings: No real cravings, but I still like burritos and cereal.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
Have you started to show yet: I would hope so.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly happy!
Looking forward to: Our ultrasound tomorrow!