52 Lists - Week 5

This post is going up a day late, since we were in Boise over the weekend. When I was thinking about how I needed to get it done, and was starting to get frustrated that I didn't do it before we left, I realized that today is actually the perfect day to post my thoughts for this week.

The prompt for this week asked me to list the best choices I've made in my life so far. Generally I wouldn't share my list on here, but I wanted to share this week's.

  • Brandon
  • Leaving my job at the counseling office for a school
  • Quitting my job to be a stay-at-home pregnant lady
  • Moving to Salt Lake for Brandon's job
  • Buying our house
  • my friends
  • Moving up our wedding date
  • Deciding we are Disney people
  • yolo-ing
  • learning to take breaks from people/situations
  • cat
  • our doctor
  • deciding to be open with our grief

Obviously, Brandon was first on the list, that was a no-brainer. And the cats, obviously. But what surprised me was that I feel like moving to Salt Lake was one of THE BEST choices I've (we've) made. When Brandon was offered the job, I was terrified. I didn't want to go back to Utah, I loved my job, and we loved our little house. I felt like we were just settling in. But here we are, a little over two years later, and Salt Lake is home. Brandon's job is awesome, which is a great perk, but there are so many other things that have proven to us that this has been a good choice.

On our drive to Boise last week, I was telling Brandon about all of this, and we were talking about how grateful we are that we chose to live where we do. Had I not gotten the job at Kauri Sue, we wouldn't have bought this house. And if we hadn't purchased this house, we wouldn't have met some of the friends we have now. We wouldn't live so close to friends that have been through similar things in life, that have allowed us to grieve and remember our babies. If we didn't where we lived, we probably wouldn't have our doctor, and we may not have met so many of the people we've been blessed to meet through all of this.

Two years ago today we got the keys to our home, and started to unbox our life. And then three days later, Brandon went to California for training, and left me home alone in a new home, new city, with a new little baby in my belly that we didn't yet know about. I was so unsure about everything, but two years later, I'm happy, and so glad we moved here.

Every single aspect of the move to Salt Lake absolutely terrified me. I was never resistant, but I was so scared. I knew the move would for sure be good for Brandon, and that seemed to be enough for me. In my journal, I wrote this sappy little segment:

"It's crazy to look at this list and think about how many of these things terrified me in the moment. Not everything seemed like the best idea in the moment, except Brandon, but they all worked out in the end. And I think that's because the best thing in my life, the one thing, one person, I've ever been 10000% sure of, has been there for all of it. This list shows me that, even if I'm scared, I can trust that, as long as Brandon is there, it will all be just fine."

I am not the kind of person that loves change. But the fact that most of the things on this list are major changes that have happened in our lives, I guess I'm more happy with change than I thought. Because in the end, these changes have brought me some of the happiest things in my life.

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