Our Second Safe Zone

In pregnancy, most women wait to share their news until they are out of the first trimester. The first thirteen weeks are considered the most risky for miscarriage, so the general population of pregnant women choose to keep the secret until they are in the "safe zone."

We know all too well that that's bullcrap.

Well okay, it's really not. It is the most likely that if you are going to lose a baby, it will happen in the first trimester. That part is true. But when you've experienced even one loss outside that "safe zone," let alone two, that thirteen week mark doesn't seem to mean as much.

The second time we were pregnant, we told our families at seven weeks. The third time, we had planned to wait, but didn't even get the chance to consider telling them early. This time, we waited to tell our families until we got the genetic test results back, but had told a few people before because we were too excited to wait.

The first few weeks that we knew about this pregnancy, I was terrified that we were going to have an early miscarriage again. Every single time I went to the bathroom, I was afraid I was going to see blood. We didn't know how far along I was, so I would keep track of time in two ways: the farthest along we could be, and the earliest we could be. Every day I would say "we could either be this far along, or this far along." When we hit six weeks and five days at the farthest mark, I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders. Then when we hit six weeks and five days at the earliest mark, I felt the weight lift a little more. We lost the last baby at six weeks and five days. I was happy to get past that point. We were out of our first danger zone.

We lost little bean at fourteen weeks and five days. It was a little easier to not dread that point after we got the genetic test back for our little guy, but I was still so scared that something was going to happen before then. That point in our pregnancy was yesterday. Today we are fourteen weeks and six days! I was really excited to get past yesterday and just move forward with no stress (or less stress anyway). And I feel good for the most part, except some idiot ran a red light yesterday and Brandon had to slam on the brakes to avoid being hit before we entered the intersection. I had my seatbelt on, and it's not like we were moving that fast, but we're going in for a ultrasound today, just to peek in on the little guy and make sure he wasn't too shaken up. The cheeseburger I was eating didn't fall out of my hand, so it obviously wasn't too bad haha. But we'll go check on him anyway. (update: little man is all good!)

I am feeling so grateful to be past the two points where we lost the previous two babies. Now we just have to make it to 37 weeks, and all will be well. We'll never even see 39 weeks again, so we'll never ever be completely out of our danger zone, but for now, we'll take the comfort that comes with being fourteen weeks and six days pregnant.