After we lost Carter, I had to wait a little while before I started working out again. Between the physical pain, thyroid problems, and the emotional pain, I just was in no shape to start working out right away. Toward the end of December, we got gym memberships, and it helped me in so many ways. It gave me a place to work out my anger, and it allowed me to feel accomplished at just one thing in my life, since I wasn't working, and I wasn't being a mother in the traditional sense. And even once I started working, I still pushed myself and Brandon to go, because I could feel that it was helping me emotionally too.
When we found out I was pregnant, I made a really good effort to go to the gym for the first few weeks. I'd walk on the treadmill (hats off to pregnant ladies who run, that crap's hard) and do a few of the machines with just light weight. Surprisingly, I found that I really missed working out hard. It felt pretty pointless to lift ten to fifteen pounds, even though I wasn't lifting much more than that before. But still, we went. It helped that I wasn't super tired, so napping after work didn't become the priority. And then we went to Amsterdam. I don't know if it was the eight miles a day we walked, or the fact that I was more pregnant, but we came back and I didn't want to do anything. In the month after we got back from Amsterdam, we went to the gym once. That's a ten dollar workout! The day after I went to the ER, I stopped at the gym on my way home from a doctor's appointment, and was going to cancel our memberships, but they're being tricky when they tell you that you have to go in to cancel. It makes you not want to cancel! I called Brandon, and he said we should give it one more month and see how we do, so that's what we did.
Having a gym membership after losing little bean has been so nice. I couldn't work out for the first two weeks after, then just started off slow, but again, it gives me a place to work off any anxiety or sadness or anger I have. It also gives me time to think and not have to talk to anyone (which really isn't that different from the rest of my day but oh well), so I just zone out and stay in my own little world for an hour. Unless Fixer Upper is on the tv, then I focus on that haha. We've been going for a few weeks now, and go often enough that I actually felt like we needed to buy ourselves some new workout clothes. I found these little green pants at Target, and I'm in love with them. They are comfy, breathable, and so cute! Seriously, I bought them two weeks ago and waited until a day that I felt pretty and knew we would be at the gym for more than thirty minutes to wear them. So pardon the photo shoot, but I was really feeling myself that night.
Realistically, I only work out so I can eat more ice cream, but I've been pretty serious about working out consistently since we lost our little bean. Up until a week and a half ago, I felt like I still looked pregnant, and even though that's normal for three weeks post pregnancy, it was just another solid reminder that there wasn't actually a baby in there. I've found a few good at-home workouts that I feel have helped tighten up my belly, I'll post them sometime. If any of you momma's have workouts you swear by, let me know!!