A year ago yesterday, our whole world flipped upside down. A year ago today, we were at home, waking up early to no newborn crying. Wandering around the house, wondering the heck we were even doing with out lives. Spending too much time holding each other, with too many salt streaks on our faces.
Those first few days following our delivery are a vivid blur. They went to fast yet so slow, and I feel like I can't remember anything, even though I can picture it all so clearly. In a matter of minutes, everything we knew about life changed. That's what having a baby is supposed to do, but it didn't change things the way it was supposed to.
For the past year, we have been tossed around from day to day, trying to regain our footing. When I finally feel like I have the grief under control, under wave comes and knocks me down again.