Anniversary Weekend

Like most of our other weekends in the past month, our anniversary weekend was super relaxing! Friday night, we had fun going back through pictures old pictures of us, then got Costa Vida for dinner and just hung out all night. We've been really into Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy lately (because we're 90), so once we laid down to watch those, the couch was basically our home for the night.

We slept in on Saturday, then went to lunch at our new favorite place, Village Baker. Brandon's parents and grandparents were in town for a reunion, and they all came over for a few hours that afternoon. Brandon's grandparents had never been to our house before, so it was fun to give them a quick tour and share the nursery and all our Carter things with them. We have a bear that weighs what Carter weighed when he was born, and we have molds of his little hands and feet. I love sharing these things with people, because I feel like it gives them more of an idea of what he was like physically. It was really special to have one set of Carter's great-grandparents hold him (in a sense).

That night we went out shopping for a few more things for the office, and ended up coming home with new Halloween decorations (Michael's is really convincing, okay?). We also found an ottoman for the office, so we didn't completely miss the mark on our shopping goal! We took the ottoman upstairs, then just lounged in the office for a while. I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but we recently finished the office, and it feels so homey now! So we have fun just being in there and enjoying all the new things.

Sunday, our actual anniversary, was by far the best day of the whole weekend. We stopped at the store on our way out of town and picked up some mini-bouquets for the babies. We are constantly on the hunt for blue flowers, but rarely find any, so this time we snagged some blue ribbon to tie around the vase for Carter. Once we got to Logan, we went straight to the cemetery. I always feel such a rush of relief when we finally get to the grave. It was nice to visit with the babies again, even though it has only been two weeks since the last time we were up there. We cleaned up the grass and leaves around the headstone, cleaned off the actual headstone, and rearranged all the toys and goodies. Two more cars were missing, one from Brandon and one from his dad, so that was kind of sad. I really do know that other kids probably just picked them up (both times we've noticed a car missing, they had buried another baby, so it was probably a kid from another funeral service), and that's okay, but it still makes me sad! Brandon says that it's okay, because it gives him an excuse to buy more cars for Carter. And that's fine by me, because we sure do love spoiling our babies!

We stopped at Walmart really quick so I could buy a journal for a new loss family. Every time a baby is buried at the cemetery, I leave a journal and a note for the family with my contact info. I remember how alone we felt in the hospital, and I don't want anyone else to ever feel like that, so it's the least I can do to reach out and leave a little something. We went to the Crepery, stuffed our faces and finished the note, then went and picked up a gift from a sweet reader. I'll share that in it's own post, because it really is so special! Then we went on a tour of all the places in Logan that are special to us. We stopped by the movie theater where we met, the Costa Vida where we had our first date, Brandon's parents' house where we spent much of our time, campus, and both apartments that we lived in. At every stop, I asked Brandon what his favorite memory was there. It was really fun to look back on our almost seven years together, but it's crazy to think about how fast time is going!

As always, we went back to the cemetery before leaving town. I left the journal for the family, we chatted with the babies, took our picture, then said goodbye. Every time we leave, I almost wish we lived there, so we could go see them whenever we wanted. But we drove home, got Costa Vida (you can tell what kind of a week we've had by how many times we've had Costa), and spent more time at home thinking about our life and all the wonderful things we have together, specifically the babies. That night, we got ice cream and took it up to walk around our favorite little lake. We sat on the dock while the sun set behind us and talked about everything we're looking forward to in our years to come.

Brandon and I have so much fun traveling together, and we always try and do a vacation in the summer, but they generally never fall on our anniversary. We talked a lot this weekend about that, but I've decided that I'm almost happier just being home on the actual day, especially now that we've lost Carter and little bean. I love going new places with him, but being home with Brandon is my favorite place to be.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!


Six years.

I can't believe it has already been a year since the last anniversary post! Times flies when you're having fun. Or when you're losing your mind. Or both, really.

We did this last year, but let's talk for a second about all of the accomplishments we've had since we've been together: We've taken 17 vacations (that's three more than last year!), 16 jobs/positions (we added two this year), still have lived in three cities, owned two houses, and adopted two cats (though I wish it were more). Last year, we were ten weeks away from meeting our first baby. This year, we are about two and a half weeks past our third pregnancy that ended too soon. We've been blessed with our sweet Carter boy and little bean, and our family is now twice as big as it was at this time last year. We've spent more time in Logan in the past ten months than I ever thought we would, and we've had more sad conversations than I can count, but we've also been infinitely blessed.

This past year has been the hardest year of my life, but it has also been one of the best. This was the year we were given our children, and this was the year that I learned without a doubt that I married the very best man on the face of the earth. Probably in the whole universe, actually. Brandon gives the best pep talks, has the best shoulders to cry on, and tells the best (worst) jokes. He is extremely patient, kind, considerate, patient, selfless, patient, funny, encouraging...did I mention patient? He's my best friend, number one travel buddy, greatest support system, and my overall favorite person.

Seeing him hold Carter for the first time was my very favorite moment of our marriage, and I'm hopeful that year seven brings another opportunity to hold a child of our own. Losing our babies has been so hard for both of us, but there is no one I would rather do all of this with. All the cemetery trips, the stupid decisions, the grieving...I couldn't ask for anything more than everything Brandon does for me. He is the very best dad, and the world's best husband, and I'm so thankful for every minute of these six years we've had together.

Here's hoping year seven brings more laughter than tears. I sure do love you, b-rand. Thank you for everything you do.