It feels so surreal to be typing this with a newborn sleeping next to me. I don't know that the feeling of this not being real will ever go away. Every time I'm holding him, I feel like I'm just waiting for someone to come and take him away. But each morning we wake up, he is still here!! It's crazy to look at him and see so much of Brandon. He's really our baby!! I was pregnant for 22 of the last 29 months, and finally, we got to bring a baby home.
But of course, because this is our life, nothing could be easy about getting him here.
Up until Monday last week, Hudson was breech, and we didn't really expect him to flip. We'd had a c-section scheduled, but when we went in for our final ultrasound and saw that he had flipped, I was SO happy. I didn't really love the idea of a c-section, so being able to reschedule our induction was awesome. Brandon and the ultrasound tech tried to convince the doctor to send us to the hospital right then, but he said no (lucky for me, because we had to take Sophie to the vet and I was extremely stressed about it). They called me that night to confirm our induction time. We were first on the schedule!
We got to the hospital at 7:30 am on Tuesday. It was a weird feeling, to be walking in slowly like we had done twice before, but this time it was a happy occasion! We got all checked in and by 8:30 they had started me on Pitocin. The doctor had checked me at 35 weeks, and I was dilated to a one. Unfortunately, nothing had changed in two weeks, so we figured we were in for a long day. Around 11:30, I was still at a one, and just progressing a little. At 12:30, a doctor came in to break my water. This doctor works with my doctor, but we had never met him before. As he was leaving he said "okay, I'm not going to see you again today, right?" And naively, we said yes. HA.
My contractions started to get stronger, and at some point, Brandon and I noticed that something was off with the monitors. Every time I would have a contraction, the monitor on Hudson would lose his heart rate, or so we thought. Our nurse came in to adjust the monitor, and we realized then that the monitor wasn't in the wrong spot, but his heart rate was dropping with each contraction. Another nurse came in and placed a monitor through me onto his head, and it confirmed that his heart rate was indeed dropping. When I wasn't having contractions, his heart rate was fine, but with each contraction, it would drop lower and lower.
At this point, understandably, I started to freak out. They put me on oxygen and had me get on my hands and knees. Brandon was so good and kept reminding me that I needed to breathe in order to help the baby. I couldn't stop crying. I genuinely thought we were going to lose him. Our pregnancy had been too easy, and we had made it all the way to delivery, of course this was when things would go downhill. I fully expected to have yet another dream yanked away from us.
At some point, probably about five seconds into all of this, I told the nurse that I didn't care about anything else, I wanted a c-section. I just wanted him there safely. Seriously within thirty seconds, there were about ten nurses in our room. They were handing Brandon scrubs, calling my doctor, calling the anesthesiologist, and doing all the other things they needed to do. The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about a spinal block, but when he found out that I had been on baby aspirin, he made the decision to put me under general anesthesia. I guess there are other risks involved with doing a spinal block on baby aspirin that could lead to emergency back surgery, so we all decided I would just go under.
As they wheeled me into the OR, I kept asking the nurse if our baby was going to be okay. She said that his heart rate was a steady 120 outside of the contractions, which was really good, but we were going to get him out and safe. I moved from my bed onto the operating table just as the doctor that broke my water walked in and said "I thought I wasn't going to see you guys again!" They got me all prepped, and the anesthesiologist walked me through what was going to happen. Basically, as soon as they said go, I'd be out, and then I'd wake up and have a baby. Our doctor walked in, peeked his head over the curtain to say hi, and then I was out. We found out later that he had done 155 mph to get from one hospital to ours, and I'm so glad he did. He needed to be there for it, especially since he has been through so much with us. He deserved a happy ending too.
Just as quickly as I had fallen asleep, I woke up with a baby in my arms.
It was 2:00 when they wheeled me into the OR, and 2:09 when Hudson was born. The doctor made the incision and got him out in under a minute, a little faster than most c-sections. He keeps telling me I had a "crash c-section" which jut sounds really terrible haha. I obviously wasn't awake for any of this, but I guess when they pulled him out, the cord was wrapped around his neck, torso, arms, legs...basically anything it could be wrapped around, which explains why his heart rate was dropping. And even though we were disappointed that I wasn't more dilated than a one when we showed up that morning, we are both so grateful that things didn't progress naturally. There's no telling what would have happened.
And so, our sweet little Hudson Jack was born June 19, 2018 at 2:09 pm, weighing 5 pounds 2 ounces, measuring 17 1/2 inches long.
Our doctor had come in so quickly that he didn't even know I was put under general anesthesia, so when he pulled Hudson out, he held him over the curtain before realizing I was asleep haha. And Brandon tells me that as I was waking up from the anesthesia, I just kept saying "we have a baby! I can't believe we have a baby!" Apparently I kept thanking the nurses too. Those feelings haven't stopped. I still can't believe it, and I am still so, so grateful.
Our time in the hospital with him was a dream. He ate like a champ, slept like a champ, and got soooo many snuggles. My recovery has been okay, not great, but holy moly is he worth it. I'm having the hardest time with the recovery only because it's not easy to get around right now, and I can't really stand up to change him or anything. I'm ready to be healed so I can be worth more than just food haha.
Getting Hudson here was such a long time coming, and really, I could never express how grateful I am for Brandon, our medical team, and all the support and love we've gotten from family and friends. It has been a long road, but we just took a turn onto a beautiful street, and I can't wait for this next chapter of our lives.
If things are quiet on the blog for a while, it's only because we are too busy enjoying our sweet little newborn, and basking in the love we feel for all our children.