Note: the picture has literally nothing to do with this post except for the fact that I'm still pregnant. Still celebrating baby #1.
So I went back to work yesterday, and not that my life is super stressful, but I forgot how much stress working can add sometimes! Add to that all the normal stressors, the fact that Brandon has been in New Orleans for the past few days (coming home tonight, yay!), and all these pregnancy things and basically you end up with a crazy person constantly on the brink of tears. AKA...me. Surprisingly though, I'm not stressed about like, being pregnant and having the baby. I'm more stressed about the next thirteen weeks going by so quickly, and also the fact that soon enough, it's going to be cold and I won't be able to wear dresses anymore, and I really don't want to go spend money on maternity clothes. Mostly that one. I'm stressed about all these little, silly things, but not the big stuff, like I feel I should be.
I went to dinner with a friend last night, and we started talking about labor, and I really am just not scared, for some reason. I think it's because from the very start, I have been constantly reassuring myself that women do this all the time, and my body will know what to do, so I have felt a lot of peace that it's just going to be...well, not great, but manageable, you know?
On a separate, but related note, last night I was brushing my teeth and noticed a section of my gums is receding pretty badly. About four years ago, I got my wisdom teeth out and had a tissue graft for a receding gum line at the same time. Now, the gums right next to the grafted section are receding, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need another graft soon.
Here's where the two thoughts are related: labor doesn't make me nervous in the least, but at the thought of another tissue graft, I started crying. I hate hate hate oral surgery. It has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember, so bad that just thinking about it makes me cry, apparently. So then I'm trying to think about when I could even have the surgery, and I have literally no time, so then from there, the thoughts just spiral out of control (like they would for any normal, crazy person) and either my teeth all fall out, or I have to get the surgery after we have the baby and I'm unable to properly take care of our child for like, a day and a half, and he grows up to resent me forever. All likely, right?
I just think it's so interesting how we all have things that freak us out, or make us worry or panic. Don't get me wrong, labor is not going to be fun, and when I'm there I probably will be terrified, but I think it's so strange/hilarious that the thought of a tissue graft scares me so badly. This was basically just a word vomit post, but I have had a lot on my mind lately, and this was probably the least heavy thing I felt I could blog about. Also, I haven't blogged since I wrote up all the vacation posts that are still rolling out (almost done, bear with me) and I have really missed writing. Hope that's okay.